A New Home: Chapter 2.2 (Riley)

Riley was the first of their class to make it onto the house, hurrying inside with quick bouncy strides and a big smile on their face. They found their way into the kitchen where a dozen boxes of pizzas of various kinds were stacked, to which Riley added their cookie collection. 

“My cookies!” Teddy complained. 

“There’s enough for everyone!” Riley said, patting their friend’s head and feeding him his favorite, slightly burned snickerdoodles.

A white kid with long champagne blonde hair in a braid followed soon after, his face covered in colorful band-aids. “We got pizza,” he says “Oh, man that is beyond cool!”

Riley grinned at him and pointed to the Tupperware full of snickerdoodles they just brought out at him, “Wanna cookie? I baked them myself yesterday!”

“Ab-so-lu-tly!” Axel answered with a grin, “I’m Axel! Strongest hero you’ll ever meet.”

Riley giggled, “I’m Riley! It’s nice to meet you!”

A tall Indian boy with coppery-skin, dark hair came in next. His face bore makeup; black mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick. He was wearing a dog collar and a mesh shirt under a black tee.

“Did I hear cookies? Nice.” He said, “I’m Ethan…” then his eyes fell onto Teddy. “You have a weird naked monkey-cat thing on your shoulder, is that normal?”

Riley’s eyes went wide and they leaned forward excitedly. If they weren’t still holding the snickerdoodles they might have grabbed Ethan’s hands, “You can see Teddy?!”

Teddy hissed at Ethan, “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“What monkey?” Axel said looking back at the two, unable to see Teddy. “Your eyes okay?”

“There’s an imp on the kid’s shoulder, it’s invisible to most people,” said a black girl coming in, she had Amazonian stature, over six feet in height, but what drew Riley’s eye was the pregnant swelling of her belly.

“Ugh, imagine wasting your time making a pact with an imp of all things,” Another voice said, that of a posh Englishman. Riley looked around for it, and saw a weird thing in the reflection of the stainless steel fridge;  a cartoonishly deformed and slender English gentleman with a hat and bugs crawling along his skin.

“What do you have against imps, huh!?” Teddy hissed. Riley picked him up off their shoulder and hold him in their arms. 

“Shut up Jack,” Ethan muttered under his breath. So the bug-man was definitely with him.

Teddy shouted a string of insults at Jack, but Riley ignored the demons’ fighting, turning their back to Jack’s reflection so that Teddy was blocked from his view.

“Please ignore Jack,” Ethan asked.

“I am soooo confused,” Axel says.

The pregnant girl leaned against the counter, she looked rather pale and sweaty “Please tell me there’s some sprite in the fridge before I puke.” 

“If there’s not I got some!” Riley offered, pulling a sprite out of hell.”I’ve only ever met one other person who could see Teddy and now two in one day!”

The girl took it, “It’s piss warm.”

Riley pouted, took the Sprite back and it back through the portal, “well excuse hell for being hot.”

Next to come in was a Tzari, a race of tall aliens that are sometimes described as ‘space orcs’. Riley had never seen one so close. He wore human clothing; cargo pants and a t-shirt. He went to the fridge and took out soda.

“You wanted a drink of Sprites?” He said.

She gives him a look, “What a tusky gentleman, what’s your name handsome?”

“I am Danalar, son of Neetarin of Clan Vinek,” He offers a deep bow.

“Polite, helpful, and handsome? I like that.” the girl said, grinning and looking the Tzari up and down with hungry eyes. “I’m Freyja.”

“It is quite the honor to meet you, miss Freyja.” Danalar smiled.

“Okay, I am so uber-mega confused now.” Axel said, shaking his head, “We’ve got invisible monkeys, an alien, a pregnant chick, and inter-dimensional cookies…” Riley was about to try to comfort him when his expression changed to a grin. “This year is gonna be so AWESOME!”

A bipedal white wolf turned their head inside the kitchen, wearing a pretty flowered sundress. “What’s that about dimensional cookies?- Oo peanut butter!”  She took a peanut butter cookie and throws it into her mouth whole.

“Hell sprites and cookies,” Axel took a snickerdoodle, “Well tell the demon bakers they’re f-n good!” he said before looking at the newcomer “And now we have furries!” Axel said, “Even better!”

“Well I’m the demon baker I guess. I tried to get Teddy to help me once but he ruined that batch… way too much salt… and now he won’t try again.” 

“You got yelled at! I’m not going to be the reason you get fucking yelled at!” Teddy said, somewhat defensively. Riley gave him a loving squeeze and he scrambled back out of their arms to perch on their shoulders once more.

“You made these?” Kayla asked, taking another peanut butter cookie, “pretty good but what’s this about demons?”

“I got a demon on my shoulder. Some people can see it, some can’t.” Riley answers with a shrug. 

“This place is nuts,” Axel says, “Love it, speaking of nuts I’m allergic. Nuts are the only thing that can defeat the mighty Blademaster.” Riley felt a thrill of panic at the word ‘allergic’ and mentally ran through what they saw Axel eat.

“Blademaster?” Ethan says.

“Don’t you have a cape name?” Axel asks back.

“No?” is all Ethan answered to Axel’s question. “Am I supposed to?”

“Every hero needs a name, you haven’t thought about it at all?” Axel asked. 

“This wasn’t exactly planned,” Ethan answered.

Riley tapped on Axel’s shoulder, getting his attention again. “Well steer clear of those, those, those, those AND those. The rest should be nut-free.” Riley pointed at a few separate containers, relieved that they knew Axel hadn’t already tried to eat one.

Axel looked at the snickerdoodles, eyes narrowing. “I was playing Russian cookie roulette here, wasn’t I?” He covered his face with his palm, Riley gently patted his shoulder.

“Yes… you really shouldn’t eat random baked goods. If I wasn’t concerned about cross-contamination when making them then you’d probably be having a reaction.”

“Oh, boys playing heroes,” Freya said mockingly. 

Kayla cocked her head to the side while looking at Freya, “Ain’t ‘playing heroes’ what we’re here for?”

“Do any of you have any training?” Freya asks. 

“I do, I’ve been training for years!” Axel said. 

“Real training.” She corrects, “With an actual teacher, learning how to fight.”

Axel went quiet. 

“I trained with Tohu-wa-Bohu for a bit!” Riley said cheerfully. Tohu-wa-Bohu was one of the Legion bigshots, just like Riley he could connect to hell! 

“I am a trained Armored, all Tzari are trained for battle,” Danalar said, as he took some cheese pizza. 

A pretty person in a pastel pink lolita style dress with a cupcake pattern walked in. Despite their Asian features, their hair was blonde with no dark roots and coiled in beautiful, doll-like ringlets.

“Yo,” Axel says to the newcomer. “There’s pizza and magic demon cookies.”

“Hi! I’m Angelo!” they smile at Axel, clocking him rather quickly as the most normal in the room.

“Want a cookie? I made them myself?” Riley offered.

“Sure.” Angelo looked carefully through the Tupperware and grabbed a sugar cookie. Their gaze went to the pizza with a frown, “so greasy…” he muttered, shaking his head.

“Do they have coffee in this place?” Danalar asked, looking around and finding instant coffee. He plugged in an electric kettle.

 “Sir, would indulging in coffee be wise at this time?” The staff on Danalar’s back had come to life and was now speaking.

“Talking stick!” Axel said, “That’s new.”

“Am I known for my wisdom, Bardiche?” Danalar answered by putting Bardiche off his shoulder and leaning it against the kitchen counter.

“My data on this subject is insufficient to come to a conclusion.”

“Can I touch you, Mr. Bardiche stick?” Axel asks. 

“This is a strange request, sir.” The AI answered.

“Oooo alien tech.” Kayla also came over to Danalar. Poking Bardiche without asking for permission. “Sweeeeet.”

“Hey! I asked first,” Axel pouted.

“Sir, please do not touch me without permission,” Bardiche says. “Sir, please assist me with these rogues.” 

“I’m not a sir.” Kayla pouted.

“Bardiche does not understand the difference between males and females,” Danalar explains, “He is very young,”

“What is the individual addressed as if not a Sir?” Bardiche asked

“A Miss I guess?” Kayla’s tail wagged with excitement as she spoke with Bardiche

“I think that’s a lady,” Axel whispered to Bardiche.

“Analyzing data,” Bardiche declared. “Honorifics of Madam, Lady, Miss, Mrs and have been found. Please input appropriate honorifics?”

“Miss works for me!” Kayla answers cheerfully

Angelo leaned in towards Ethan and asked, “This is… weird right?”

Ethan looked at Angelo. “I mean I have an evil bug demon living in my head, I don’t know what’s weird anymore.”

“Bug demon?” Angelo shivered in horror, “sounds terrible. I hate bugs”

“Same, unfortunately,” Ethan said, “I’m Ethan,” he offered a hand to shake.

Angelo shook his hand, “Angelo!”

Everyone took the chance to re-introduce themselves to those who hadn’t yet caught their name.

Axel’s attention is drawn away from Bardiche. “Okay, names are cool and all, but have y’all picked your cape names?”

“You try to find something cool themed around bugs and disease.” Ethan joked.

“I’m not here to be a superhero, I’m just the hanger-on,” Freya said.

“Hanger-on to what?” Riley asked

“I’m sure you’ve seen my sister, can’t miss the wings,” Freya says, “No idea where she went.”

“That is the worst attitude, come on!” Axel said, “You have got to have something to show.”

“I can punch your fucking face,” Freya answered, “Break your nose.” 

“See, that’s a start,” Axel grins, “you can surely try.”

 “Hey, no violence guys!” Riley scolded, getting another round of pizza. They had already had too much, but they couldn’t stop. Hopefully, everyone would get all the pizza they wanted.

“Hey, I wouldn’t touch a pregnant chick that’s just unheroic,” Axel defended himself, “She is welcome to try to punch me.”

“Well right now I’m more likely to throw up on you,” Freya said, only half-joking. 

Danalar finished making his coffee. “Well, then this is quite a strange group. Would anyone like some coffee?”

“Wait,” Ethan says, “Isn’t coffee a narcotic for Tzari?”

“Indeed it is,” Danalar says, “What of it?”

“Lucky bastard,” Freya joked, “wish I could have a drink.” Riley looked down at her pregnant belly when she said that.

“Drinking and drugs the night before the first day of school? I like partying but even that seems too much for me.” Kayla said.

“You’re pregnant, you can’t drink!” Axel says. 

“Mind your own fucking business kid.” Freya snapped. She gets up. “I better find Michelle and lie down.” 

Danalar chugged his cup of coffee and grabbed Bardiche. “I must attend to certain personal businesses as well.”

“Guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow then?” Kayla said, more interested in getting more pizza now.

“Unless I get kidnapped, you never know,” Freya says.

“So boring,” Axel said, turning to the people remaining, “So you got bug powers, what do y’all have?”

“Well, you already saw the portals! That’s the main thing I can do.” Riley answered, wiping pizza grease off their lips with the back of their hand.

“I’m a hypertech! And I gave myself this beautiful body, amazing right?” Kayla flexed, her ears wiggling and tail wagging.

“So you are a total furry?” Axel raised his eyebrows at  Kayla.

“Yep! A furry through and through!” Kayla answered, pride in her voice. 

“And you?” He asked Angelo.

“Wind powers.” Angelo sends a breeze Axel’s way, tousling his hair.

 “Oooh, nice breeze.Thanks, girl.”

“I’m a boy.” Angelo corrected patiently, moving aside his white sweater to show a little heart-shaped pin with he/him written on it in cursive.

“Oh, well thanks, dude?”

“That’s an interesting choice of outfit,” Ethan says to Angelo. “Do you always dress like this?”

Angelo smiles, “Yeah pretty much. I have a few more classic lolita style dresses, some Ouji style outfits, and some casual lazy outfits that are more masc.”

Axel looked back at Kayla. “Okay, for curiosity’s sake on a scale of 1-10 how soft is that fur?”

“20. I made a special shampoo formula to make sure it’s the softest it can be. You can touch it.” Kayla offered an arm.

Axel took the offer. “Ah, man, I want a blanket made of that.”

Kayla scratched her throat with a claw as she thought about it, “I might be able to engineer that.”

While the others talked, Riley finished off their sixth piece of pizza while Teddy began to look concerned.

“Awesome,” Axel grinned. “Oh, I just realized I haven’t shown off my power yet!”

Axel put out his arms and a selection of swords, polearms, axes appeared out of thin air floating above the ground. “Ta-da!” He twirled a finger and the weapons started to slowly spin.

“Weapons? Doesn’t fighting with them get kinda bloody?” Riley asked with a frown.

Axel made a motion with his arms and the swords were replaced with batons and other non-cutting weapons. “I’m very versatile.”

Riley still frowned with their brow furrowed, “I guess that’s better?”

“Can you summon any kind of weapon?” Kayla asked, touching one of the weapons with a finger.

“Any I’ve touched,” Axel said, “But I’ve been working on expanding my arsenal.” he waved his hand off and the weapons disappeared.

“Fascinating,” Kayla said.

Riley throws their now empty plate away in the trash can and yawns, their stomach aching,”I need to go find my room and unpack a bit. See you guys tomorrow!” 

Riley hopped out of the room, only to catch Axel’s words. 

“See you later cookie-girl-boy-person?” He said, “I better pack my stuff and get my jogging done.” 

“Person! And it’s Riley.” Riley pokes their head back in to say

“Righto!” Axel says, making finger guns, “to the bedrooms!”

Ethan got up following Riley, “Well it was nice.” He grabs his bag, “better go see who my roomie is.” 

“That Axel kid is annoying, we should curse him with disease,” Jack said, making Riley frown again.

“We are not doing that.” Ethan sighed. “I hope there’s some place far away from mirrors,”

Angelo finished the single sugar cookie he took and headed out as well, “see you tomorrow!”

While the others checked their room numbers and grabbed their bags left at the bottom of the staircase, Riley slipped off to a bathroom. “Riley…” Teddy started to say something but Riley didn’t stop to listen, as they stuck a finger down their throat.